yuletide | Member Posts

As this US Thanksgiving weekend draws to a close, I'd like to tell you, my Dreamwidth community, how very thankful I am for you. ♥

You are my fannish air and breath. You are a refuge. You are a delight. I look forward to what you share with me. I love what DW gives us, this text-driven, words-rich, open world of connections we choose.

I wish there were more of us. I wish we all had more time and spoons to play here with each other. I wish fandom still practiced certain customs that it doesn't seem to anymore.

But that's okay. I have you. And I'm truly grateful.

Happy Thanksgiving!

schneefink

I'm sick (uuugh), but it's November 30th and I don't want to fail my monthly rec challenge now. So you get four Hermitcraft recs without a larger theme. 1 art & 3 fic (1 space AU & 2 admin power games, one of them a Life series crossover.)
I don't think canon knowledge is required for any of them: definitely not the first two, and I think the important parts of the other two become clear very quickly.

in too deep by

modest_starr
digital art, Geminitay
Summary: additional tags: Imminent Character Death, she is literally drowning, Hallucinations, Eye strain, highly saturated colors, Hermitcraft Season 10, Anthropologist Geminitay, Sea Monsters
Why I like it: The tags say "hallucinations" but I also really like the idea of scientist Gem looking too deep. Very cool colors.

Why is everyone sucking Farlands' dick over their new ship??? by

Kaesa
6k, SF AU, implied Scar/Grian, social media outsider PoV with in-universe RPF
Summary: Hey, uh, what's with everyone losing their minds over Farlands' Good Times? I thought we all agreed Farlands was evil incarnate? Last big colony mission they launched, even half the people at Brave Voyages were like "wow so sick of Farlands' bullshit, hope Farlands explodes," but this thing has been around for less than a year and people HERE are like, writing romantic poetry about it? Can someone explain? Obviously I too am fascinated by whether they're using tuned mass dampers or something else to keep the gravity steady, and the reflex rewiring they have to do to the pilots to get something that big through hyperspace is wild, but uh. This is not that.
A forum thread from the future.
Why I love it: Reccing part 2 here so I have a good reason to rec the series when it's done; I also recommend part 1 but I like this one even better. Scar is a Pilot, which means he controls a spaceship with his brain, and Grian is his doctor. Very cool worldbuilding and very funny.

feeling a gold hand unfolding on me by

springbeetle
3.3k, Grian & Xisuma, non-sexual kink (body modification, admin powers)
Summary: It was daylight, not that you could tell from the enclosed room Xisuma had teleported Grian into. A bright, fantastic Hermitcraft day, his friends bustling about the server engaged in activities, cheerfully oblivious to what Xisuma and Grian were about to do in this room together. To what Xisuma was about to do to Grian.
Most Hermits weren’t big on tradition, when you got down to it. They’d been around too long, seen enough of the universe to have set preferences about their bodies, or they had their own plans for each season. Scar and Cub had recently finished with their predatory ConVex business, for instance, and Cleo kept her zombieness– zombitude? Zombiehood?-- firmly under her own control, and the less said about Joe’s usual brand of shenanigans, the better.
So it had been unusual, having a new player such as Grian bring the concept up in the roundabout fashion he had, side-eyeing Xisuma like he wasn’t sure whether Xisuma would just snatch him up one day, like he was checking off a box on some haphazard to-do list-- like he’d smacked himself on the helmet and gone oh, silly me, that’s right! I forgot to modify Grian to my personal preferences last month!
Why I like it: Wonderful take on admin Xisuma taking care of his player even with an unusual request. I like how Xisuma needs the encouragement and reassurances to keep going but he does enjoy getting into his evil role when he feels comfortable and he is good at it, too. And Grian is very good at prodding him just enough and having to admit he doesn't not want this, delicious.

a weave that can be unpicked by

strifetxt
3.4k, Scar&/Grian, Third Life
Summary: Grian's eyes widen. “Wait, did you think I’d made a plug-in to force players into turning hostile?”
Scar blinks. “Didn’t you?”
“Wh— No, of course not!”
“Oh.” Scar deflates, but then, just as quickly, perks back up. “Could you though?”
Or: Scar has some ideas to make Third Life more fun. Grian has some concerns.
Why I like it: Excellent recursive fic of the above, and another case of a player prodding an admin into using their powers on them. I love the intimacy of the admin power used on a willing subject.

malinaldarose

I slept in just a bit this morning (only about half an hour), but I have already been trapped under a cat, so there's that, I suppose. Parker jumped onto my desk while I was reading DW and I was trapped for half an hour or so. Fortunately, I had the commentary on the Miss Universe pageant gowns linked to by

senmut to keep me company.

I am noticing that my computer is making a droning electrical noise this morning and I am beginning to wonder if I need to start looking for a replacement after all. Le sigh. Sure, why not. I clearly haven't spent enough money this weekend.

Speaking of which, I did not end up getting the new vacuum at BJ's. Between stacking coupons and discounts, Kohl's ended up having the better price, and now I will have $45 of Kohl's cash to spend on new pajamas, since mine are becoming threadbare. Which is easy enough, since rather than expensive pajama sets, I buy flannel bottoms and regular t-shirts a size up from what I normally wear. Works just fine and is basically what pajama sets are anyway.

Yesterday, I went out to the grocery store after the pharmacy opened at 9:00 a.m. It turned out that the doctor's office had sent a new prescription, so they filled it for me while I picked up a few things. When I got home and put the stuff away, the first load of laundry was done, so that got hung up in the basement and the second load put in.

I looked at my do-list and looked at all the things that need to be done around the house and just shook my head. There's no way. So, instead of trying to put fall decorations away and get out winter ones, I sat down at my desk and listened to Wait Wait Don't Tell Me while drawing the January pages in my home calendar for next year. I've decided to use the somewhat fiddly box layout that I rejected for my work calendar. I'm getting tired of the boxes with triangular flags that I have used for the last couple of years. I got all of January drawn, though I'm not certain I'm going to include the trackers and notes pages that I've had for the last couple of years, because I didn't use them at all this year, so what's the point? I might try something else, instead, or I might just flow one month into another as I do with my work calendars. We'll see. Also, while I like the idea of a book journal, I didn't keep up with it, so I think that's just going to turn into my new book where I just keep my lists of what I have read (which grew out of the 50 Book Challenge years and years and years ago -- I have been keeping the current book since 2008, but I'm down to the last few pages, so I need to start a new one).

After that, I tok the work calendar upstairs and decorated the August and September pages. I was certain last week that I would have it finished and ready to go to work with me tomorrow, but I don't know that I'm going to make it. I need to do the December pages in my home calendar today, and I suppose if I did nothing else, I'd be able to finish the work calendar...but I'm not betting on it....

Last evening, I had dinner early because I skipped lunch, then I cleaned the kitchen, and settled on the couch and read all evening, until I finished Enchanter's End Game. So that's The Belgariad finished. I am debating whether or not I want to go on to The Malloreon. I might decide to read something else first and then go on to it. Or I might just go grab it as being easier than trying to choose something new.

It is 29° this morning. According to the weather wiseacres, it's supposed to get up to 39° and both rain and snow. Won't that be fun? I thought briefly about going to see if the new bookstore had any more stock this week than they did last week, but I don't think I'll be doing that. Too many other things to do to waste my time on that. (And it would be a waste of time, I am certain.)

Current Mood: okay

extrapenguin

I've been feeling melancholy for – well. The calendar says it's almost December, the Christmas lights are up here, etc, but the weather says it's the start of October. And also, as it is still my first year in Paris, I have been basically sick nonstop. Last weekend I got the influenza or something.

Last year, I read a book that changed my life (or, at least, how I approach other people). The book's analysis of appreciation and how it is and isn't given thus lurks at the back of my mind; less "living rent-free" and more like a structural element.

My job is ... well. Theoretically, it's interesting. In practice, it feels like nothing I do matters – no-one admits to being in charge, the person I thought was my boss is too busy doing project administration paperwork to supervise me and has informed me that she's actually not my boss at all, I do not know who my boss is, and the piece of equipment I was promised would arrive in September has been delayed to February at best. I do not know who my boss is.

(Also this is not a job for a postdoc IMO? I really think they should've hired a PhD student instead, and only got a postdoc because they only have two years of funding...)

In short, the management is shit. I've tried giving feedback, but the problems with this group run deep, apparently, and also I'm not officially a part of the group. (The least wrong answer to "Where do you work?" is "It's complicated.") Like. It's one thing to be self-directed, but frankly, I feel self-employed, except with none of the good parts.

(Also Paris fucking sucks, y'all? Pollution so bad you can taste it, the sheer noise of the masses, all the grocery stores have more restrictive opening times than the fucking alcohol monopoly in Finland, and the locals are all "omg you live in the bad part of town???" my dude your entire fucking city is sketchy af! All of Paris is "the bad part of town"!)

Oh yeah and I've been suffering with bedbugs. I hired the pros the moment I found them, buuuuut I think they've been coming through the vents. I recently covered them with fabric (and duct tape), but ofc there's the residual population. I sleep with no skin uncovered so they cannot feed and multiply. I do a final sweep of visible surfaces before bed and exterminate all I can find. There are bloodstains on my ceiling and a hatred in my soul.

reynardo

Your Frithmas Card Info is here!

petra

I am reading Retrograde, an Old Guard story, off a recommendation from the Rec Center newsletter. It is charming, and I am more than happy to forgive it its comma splices for the well-told tale of Nicky waking up at a different point in his own history every time he dies.

What made me pause to cry laughing was actually a footnote in the fic that "'Snails" is a minced oath for "God's nails," as cited in Green's Dictionary of Slang from 1599.

I haven't giggled this hard at something snail-related since the Barricades Con did a snéance (a snail séance) to ask Victor Hugo a few burning questions.

I am also sad all over again that they didn't name the sequel 2 Old 2 Guard, and that it wasn't good, but that is a Doylistic set of concerns, and when I am enmeshed in the story, I don't care so much.

Current Mood: shakespearean
Current Music: Arm in arm in arm in arm

settiai

It looks like Leslie Fish has passed away.

I've gotta admit, I'm torn on this one. In recent years, she's made it clear that she's transphobic, bigoted, and a generally horrible person all around. A fair bit of her music has meant a lot to me over the years, though, before it became widely known just what she's like.

So... yeah. I'm mourning for just how important she used to be to both me and fandom at large, but at the same time it's hard to be all that sad about the death of someone who's made it clear that she didn't consider me to be a person.

Current Mood: blank

yhlee

Saori WX60 + Clover Sakiori 60cm "feather" (reed/heddle thingy???) Frankenloom warping. This does work. It doesn't work all that well, but it works. Fortunately, the weaving is the fast part and this is a shorter warp, so I'll just finish this for exploration's sake and then return to "normal" warping. :)

Finished the 2-ply merino yarn!

topaz_eyes

( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )

goatgodschild

As of today, Leslie Fish has died.

She was a ferociously talented (and just plain ferocious) singer of folk music, but particularly filk, the subgenre of folk music of science, science fiction, and fantasy.

I have described her in the past -- reflecting her talent, personality, and significance to her genre -- as half Beatles, half Johnny Rotten.

thawrecka

I won't do a more formal version of the December talking meme, but if you leave prompts in the replies to this post about topics you'd like me to talk about I'll try to get through them during the month.

petra

Also open to people for whom it is Not Dark Outside in the Southern Hemisphere.

Let me know if you'd like a holiday card, with or without short verse or prose, or a short piece of fiction in your inbox.

Even if you know I have your address, if you want a physical card, I would appreciate your leaving it in a comment on this post -- all comments are screened -- so I don't have to hunt for it. I'm in the US and have a pile of domestic and international stamps just waiting to come see you.

Please format your request like so:

I would like [a physical card/just a physical card, no fiction/just a piece of fiction or verse sent digitally], please.

If you want a physical card:
Envelope Name
Address formatted the way your country likes them done

Card Name (if different from envelope name):

If you want some words:
Please write me a [drabble or poem], [silly or serious or smutty or author's choice], for [one or more of these fandoms (the fandoms I know)] on the theme of [my favorite trope(s)]. Please avoid mentioning [winter holidays I don't celebrate].

Optional if you want to reciprocate:
I'm planning on sending holiday cards and don't have your address. Please provide it [at this link or in a reply comment].

Current Mood: festive
Current Music: I want a la-la-la-la-latke every Cha-Cha-Chanukah night

lannamichaels

Summary: The titular girl turning 12 is Katie, a homeschooled girl in Kentucky in summer/autumn 2004. She is enduring the beginning of puberty -- having to wear a bra*, growing leg hair, getting her period -- while her best friends have temporarily moved to Wisconsin, she is getting bullied at church** youth group, discovering her budding feminist rage about dress codes, and, worryingly, might have a crush on a girl in her theater club. A midgrade graphic novel.

( Read more... )

petra

There is currently a meme going around Tumblr of looking at the AO3 to see which of one's fanworks has the fewest hits. Mine is currently a drabble of Shakespeare/Marlowe titled from Stephen Sondheim.

As Jack points out, said fanwork could only be more on-brand for me if it involved mentor/student or one person/everyone else.

BRB, contemplating Kit/everybody and/or Will/everybody.

~~Oh thank goodness, I have the right icon for this post!~~

Current Mood: silly
Current Music: I am somewhat imperfectly me

petra

It is definitely time for the ceremonial Watching of the Comfort Movie.

RIP, Tom Stoppard. And may you not have to do it all over again and again and again, because life is neither a rehearsal nor a play.

Current Mood: exanimate
Current Music: Postulate

sholio

I signed up for

rec_cember, a new reccing challenge comm for posting recs in December. I am going to at least TRY posting bite-sized daily recs, but my track record at daily anything is pretty dismal, so it might turn into weekly posts. I'll make an effort to do roundup posts over at

recthething as well.

This will probably be mostly Murderbot and Babylon 5 (also Biggles? is there any point to posting Biggles recs, in a fandom that small where everyone has probably read anything they're interested in already?). I've actually got a B5 question. I still hope to drag some of you into watching it with me if possible, but I don't want to spoil any potential watchers for major developments in the series, which is really best unspoiled (if you are inclined to enjoy things that way) and doing recs in this particular way is probably going to be spoilergeddon.

So I am curious if people care about this or not.

Poll #33891

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: Just the Poll Creator, participants: 21

Would you like me to put Babylon 5 spoilers under a cut?

Yes please, that would be appreciated.
4 (19.0%)

I would prefer that you don't, so I can read everything without clicking a cut.
1 (4.8%)

No preference/answer too complex for your binary boxes.
16 (76.2%)

(Results are viewable only to me, so you're not committing yourself publicly to watching the show or anything. I would just like to know if there's any particular reason to be careful about spoiler-cuts or if it doesn't matter all that much at this point.)

theemeraldgirl23

I'm so late with this, but I posted three fills for scarygirlynight last month!

Happy reading!

1. for a while (a le sserafim shinez post-disbandment au)

Read below

All walking through Times Square reminds Yunjin of is the time during the Easy, Crazy, Hot tour when Kazuha tried to get someone to do a dance challenge with her while wearing a dinosaur costume. It’s a bittersweet memory now.

Five years removed, the billboards feature faces of groups Yunjin isn’t familiar with and movies she isn’t interested in. One of them flashes by, displaying her recent Vogue ad after the release of her third solo album. Her polished face and glamorous outfit stare back at her, betraying her current appearance—no makeup, a hoodie she has her hands inside the pockets of, and comfortable jeans.

Music was always her passion, but recording in a studio in New York is lonelier compared to Seoul. She misses having one of her members right on the other side of the booth or even in the booth with her, recording a harmony or duet part. The group chat they share becomes less and less active until the only time they message in it is wishing each other happy birthdays and support on their individual projects when they come out.

Her phone vibrates in her jacket pocket as her hand ghosts over it. Pulling it out, she sees a message in the Fimmies group chat. It’s a picture of one of her billboards in another part of Times Square. But none of them are even in the US, as far as she knows. She looks at who sent it. Kazuha. With the message that she’s proud of Yunjin and misses the group. She follows it with a photo from that tour in that costume, saying she kind of wants to recreate it. Chaewon responds first, saying she missed them too, asking how Kazuha’s filming was going.

Kazuha’s filming something? Yunjin guesses Kazuha had her reasons for not telling her, considering everything that had happened between them. The members knew why they cried the hardest for each other at Incheon airport when they walked in opposite directions. It was a secret from everyone but them. From the moment they shared a kiss in a hotel room in Busan during their first trip alone together to the silver ring Kazuha slipped off ‌her finger and onto Yunjin’s palm when she left, their relationship differed from the rest of the group’s.

Chaewon knew it best. They were roommates after all. Being a perpetual third wheel was not a job for the faint of heart. She witnessed how Yunjin and Kazuha shared a similar sense of humor and taste in food, the way they implicitly understood each other’s needs, and the way they were almost never out of sync with one another. The occasional arguments they had after a long day were often resolved just as quickly as they started.

At least, it was that way until they went their separate ways. This was not something they could resolve with a few simple words and a quick kiss. They were about to be on the other side of the world from each other, and this time it was a goodbye, not a see you soon. Something final. Something they couldn’t come back from.

Still, Yunjin waits. For what, she doesn’t know. Maybe for fate to work its course again like it did the first time they met or something else entirely, but there’s a hole in her heart where Kazuha belonged that she doesn’t care to cover up with anything else. So, she pours it all out into songs that she sings alone in an apartment too big or a booth too empty and walks the streets of the city that never sleeps, hoping for miracles.

Nostalgia stings in the crowded street. Yunjin thinks that’s a good lyric if not for the shock that wracks through her at seeing Kazuha’s face on a movie poster that goes by above her. It’s something of an action film—an explosion in the background, Kazuha wearing all-black, holding a gun. Yunjin looks at her hands, sporting a ring on each. Hers, and the one Kazuha gave back to her.

Opening Instagram, she does something she hasn’t in months, clicks through the members’ profiles. She lingers a little too long on Kazuha’s most recent post from a couple of days ago, the background song being one from Yunjin’s most recent album. The comments are about what you would expect, many asking and theorizing about a reunion based on the use of the song. Kazuha responds to a comment asking if she misses Yunjin, to which she replies: every day.

Yunjin slides her hands over her face, feeling the cool silver ‌of the rings on her cheeks. “What am I doing? This is stupid.” She closes the app, turns off her phone, and continues walking to a small bakery tucked away in the corner. “Thank God,” she whispers to herself as she walks in, grateful to be away from the street’s overstimulation.

Someone in front of her orders an almond croissant and an iced americano to go. They look like they’re in a hurry, not realizing they dropped their card after paying, rushing to leave after receiving their food. She bends down to pick up the card, checking the name on the back.

“Is the world playing tricks on me?” Yunjin mutters.

Bolting out of the bakery, Yunjin runs after the person who dropped their card, squeezing through the droves of people. It proves harder than the rom-coms make it out to be. Her athleticism’s no match for the person she’s chasing, even though they worked out together countless times.

“Kazuha Nakamura!” Yunjin cries out.

Kazuha stops in her tracks, turning around. They stare at each other for a few moments, as if they are not on the bustling street, but back in that quiet bakery. Time stretches as they both stand in silence, unwilling to break whatever this is.

“You dropped your card,” Yunjin finally says, holding it out for Kazuha to grab.

Kazuha takes it from Yunjin’s hand. “Oh.” She scratches the back of her neck, like she doesn’t know what to do with that information. “Thanks.”

“I miss you too.”

Kazuha wraps Yunjin in a hug that Yunjin immediately melts into. Yunjin doesn’t want to let go, lest she forget the way their bodies meld together so perfectly. Kazuha steps back first. Yunjin already misses the warmth.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going to be here?” Yunjin asks.

“I thought maybe you didn’t want to see me. After…you know,” Kazuha says.

Yunjin takes off the ring on her right hand and gives it back to Kazuha. “I always want to see you. I love you.”

Kazuha puts the ring on. “I love you too. I’m sorry it had to happen the way it did.”

“I get it. We went in different directions.”

“Let’s say I take this back to the director.” Kazuha holds up the croissant and coffee. “Then I take the day off and we can be together for a while.”

“I’d like that.”

Yunjin will take “for a while”. After all, she has been waiting that long.

2. GIRL (a twice michaeng idol au)

Read below

It was way past the time for her to be expecting anyone when Chaeyoung heard a knock on her door. She was working on lyrics for her solo album trilogy on the couch with papers laid out on the coffee table. Beside her lay her guitar. The setup was messy and organized in a way that the only person who understood it was herself. Whoever showed up at her apartment this late had better have been worth it to interrupt her writing session like this, especially after a long schedule where she barely had any time to herself.

Opening the door revealed Mina in casual clothes, wearing a light sweater, one she most likely knitted herself. Chaeyoung blinked a few times to make sure she was seeing things correctly. When she confirmed Mina was indeed not a ghost of her imagination, she stepped aside, letting her in.

“Unnie, what are you doing here?” Chaeyoung asked. “Not that I mind, but it’s late.”

“I wanted to see you,” Mina said, looking around the apartment like she hadn’t seen it at least a dozen times before.

Chaeyoung chuckled. “We see each other almost every day. Did you miss me that much?”

“I always miss when you’re not around.”

That was one thing that made it difficult for Chaeyoung to imagine Mina purely as her muse, her sweet words. Other times it was a comforting brush of the arm, and even the fan service got to her at points. Ten years ago, it was easy to admire Mina on the surface level; she was objectively beautiful in the way Chaeyoung’s b-side on Knock Knock highlighted. Now, Chaeyoung saw beneath the beauty.

Mina never looked like she wanted to get something out of you. She had the presence of a beach, in the way hearing gentle waves calmed you down, but also, in the way the ocean bore something powerful and seductive.

One of Chaeyoung’s songs on the album she was writing reflected that. She believed there was power in things not said. That the quiet ones were often the ones with the most to say. Mina didn’t speak much. She let her actions do the talking. From the back hugs, to the soft smiles, to the love in her eyes, Chaeyoung knew how much Mina cared. It made it hard to separate her feelings.

With Haesol, it was never that complicated. Chaeyoung never viewed him in certain terms. He was easy. He made good music. She liked his music. They met, saw each other for a while, and that was that. Simple.

Mina, however, was never simple. Chaeyoung remembered lying in that bed with her a few weeks after they debuted as a camera looked down on them. She was peeling a mandarin when she got a whiff of the jasmine perfume Mina sprayed on her pillow. It was an innocent action, in hindsight, but something in the way Chaeyoung looked at her made Mina ask an equally innocent question, in hindsight, but one Chaeyoung still couldn’t answer to this day.

Did you fall in love with me?

In front of the camera, the obvious response was to say yes, but Chaeyoung was sixteen. She didn’t have a real concept of what love meant. What about now? Did she have the answer at twenty-six? Or would she forever be relegated to writing songs about a feeling she couldn’t quite name?

“Why do we live, spinning around and crashing into each other?” Mina sang. “I could be the one. You could be the one.”

Mina’s singing made Chaeyoung lose her train of thought. Looking up, she saw Mina was holding a paper with lyrics for a song she had titled GIRL. It was one song most pointedly about her.

Without a second thought about how it would sound, Chaeyoung started singing along with her. “Who’s the one? Heaven only knows.”

“Save me. Forever we could be a secret,” they harmonized at the same time.

They looked at each other as if they had just realized how well their voices matched. Fans pointed out many times that their voices blended well and that they would love to see them do a melody project together.

“I have an idea,” Chaeyoung said.

“What is it?” Mina asked.

“You should feature on my album.”

“Are you sure?”

“Why not? If Nayeon could have Felix, Jihyo could have Heize, and Tzuyu could have Peniel, why can’t I have you?”

Mina knew Chaeyoung meant that in a completely music-related sense, but she also knew they always blurred the lines between what was considered for art’s sake and what was real. Music expressed feelings plain words could not, and she understood every lyric Chaeyoung wrote about her.

“Ah, that came out wrong. I meant…” Chaeyoung started.

Mina stopped her. “I know what you meant. You always hide your feelings behind your art. I’ve learned to read between the lines.”

“I don’t know how else to be.”

“Your art is honest. It doesn’t have to be anything else.”

“My art is honest, but what about me?”

“You’re honest too, maybe not so much in words, but we’re similar in that way. I can see it in your eyes.”

They stared at each other, their eyes reflecting each other. Emotion swirled in pools of brown, and that was honesty. The eyes never lied. Mina was always more than just a muse. Chaeyoung didn’t need to say it. So, instead, she leaned in. Actions always spoke louder than words, anyway.

3. in a quieter corner (a le sserafim/ive gen/kazuha-centric idol au)

Read below

Sitting at a table with other idols, Kazuha realized this event was not really what it seemed. This was a party more than a charity campaign. She took a sip of champagne and savored the way the fizz went down her throat. It gave her a distraction from the booming music and crowds of people she vaguely knew the faces of. She tugged on the collar of her jacket. This outfit had too many layers for all the warm bodies in the room, but she wanted to be respectful of the occasion.

Turning to the person on the left side, she was met with Rei from IVE. She let out a sigh of relief. Someone she knew. They weren't quite friends, but maybe she could change that tonight. She slid her palms across her thighs. Heat and nervousness were a bad combination.

"Hello!" she yelled over the music.

Rei pointed at herself. "Me?"

Kazuha nodded. "It's nice to see you again."

"Nice to see you too. I know Wonyoung and Yujin-unnie are happy to see Chaewon-unnie."

Kazuha turned to the right to see Chaewon talking animatedly with Wonyoung and Yujin, who sat to the right of Chaewon. It was nice to see Chaewon catching up with her former group members. She told Kazuha over dinner in their dorm one day that they had a group chat and made times to meet up whenever they didn't have a schedule. The member Chaewon mentioned the most was Yena when she told her and Yunjin she was going out, but sometimes it was others.

She thought it would be nice to have more idol friends like that and envied Eunchae's ability to talk to and become friends with anyone she met. It was like a superpower Kazuha wished she could copy. Eunchae told her it was easy; just be yourself, don't think about age, and remind yourself the other person could be just as nervous as you. If it were that simple, Kazuha would've had at least ten friends in this industry outside her group members by now.

"How's everything going? You're preparing for a comeback soon, right?" Rei asked.

"Yeah. 'Spaghetti.' It's a lot of fun. The concept is different from our previous songs, but I think our fans will like it a lot," Kazuha said.

"Sounds interesting. My unnies were telling me about it. I saw some of the concept photos. You guys looked so cool!"

"Thank you!"

"We're friends, right? I can call you 'unnie,' too?"

Kazuha scratched the back of her neck. "Oh. Um, totally. Then, can I call you Rei-chan?"

Rei chuckled. "Of course. That's only fair."

Getting up, Rei left her seat for someone else to take for a few minutes as she grabbed food. Those few minutes were more than enough time for a male actor to slide up next to Kazuha and introduce himself. She was immediately uncomfortable, and ever more aware of the pounding bass, the intoxicating scents, and the temperature in the room. Pulling at her collar again, she tried to will the sweat building on her palms and forehead away, but it didn't work. She put a hand to her heart, noticing it beating faster than normal. Her state drove the actor away, which she was grateful for, but it didn't help what he started. Rei returned to the table too late.

Kazuha tapped Chaewon's shoulder and stood up. "I think I need some air."

Chaewon looked up, concerned. "Are you okay?"

Kazuha shook her head. She needed to leave this party. Chaewon slung her purse over her shoulder and helped Kazuha through the crowd into the hallway. Wonyoung, Yujin, and Rei followed. They sat in a corner of the hallway together.

Chaewon rubbed Kazuha's back. "Breathe. We're here."

Rei rubbed Kazuha's arm. "I should've waited."

Kazuha took a deep breath. "It's not your fault."

"Don't blame yourself, Rei-chan. This can happen anywhere," Chaewon said.

Kazuha nodded, taking more deep breaths as she counted by fives in Japanese. The last time she had a panic attack was in the Netherlands after an intense ballet practice where her instructor tore into her. She thought she had it under control, but this event was more overwhelming than she thought it would be. She wouldn't have even considered attending if this was how it was going to be.

Yujin pulled her up, urging her to copy the stretches she did. Kazuha did them, wiping the sweat off her forehead. This was working.

"What did you think about the 'Compact Bites' shoot?" Chaewon asked.

Kazuha smiled. "I never thought I would hold a chainsaw prop for a photoshoot, so it was really unexpected, but I think it turned out well."

Her heart beat at a normal rate. She hugged Chaewon. Rei, Wonyoung, and Yujin joined in, grouping around them. They stayed like that for a few moments, basking in the warmth before backing away.

"How about we get out of here?" Chaewon asked.

"I thought you'd never ask," Kazuha said.

Current Mood: creative

corvidology

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yelp

✨ holiday love meme 2025 ✨
my thread here

umadoshi

Reading: Since last weekend, I've finished reading Rebecca Mahoney's The Memory Eater and read Susan Cooper's Over Sea, Under Stone and Aster Glenn Gray's The Wolf and the Girl, and

scruloose and I finished listening to Network Effect. (One Murderbot audiobook left to go! At least until whenever the new one comes out next year.)

I'd never read any of The Dark is Rising [series] before, but a while back I got the whole set in an ebook bundle, and this week I remembered to actually ask around about which part of people read seasonally (or if it's the whole thing) and confirmed that winter solstice is indeed the season in question. So I expect to take a stab at reading The Dark is Rising [book] in a few weeks.

Seasonally related: Llinos Cathryn Thomas has a new seasonal novella out, All is Bright, which I understand can just be read like any other book but is written to work as an Advent countdown, one chapter a day. Hopefully I'll remember to start that on Monday, alongside whatever else I pick up next.

Watching: Having finally finished Network Effect,

scruloose and I dipped back into Silo season 2 last night. Three whole episodes down now!

I also succumbed to anticipatory fandom hype and watched the first two episodes of Heated Rivalry. I can't say I'm in love, but it looks like it's only six episodes total, so I expect I'll keep on with it. [Content note: the sex scenes are fairly graphic, at least by my fuzzy impression of standards for a mainstream show.] I have zero familiarity with the book, so no idea what's going to happen or how it is as an adaptation.

[Via The Rec Centre: "How ‘Heated Rivalry’ Became the Internet’s Favorite Show — Before It’s Even Aired".]

Householding: We've ordered a new upright freezer for the garage, since the current one is still being cranky. Once we've swapped the new one in (ETA: next weekend),

scruloose may take a stab at repairing it; that might've been the first step if it had been an appliance that's not full of food that needs to stay frozen, but with no idea what we would've done with said food during the attempt and troubleshooting and repair, and given how busy they've been lately, it wasn't a good choice right now. If they're able to fix the old one, we should be able to rehome it with someone who needs one.

Cooking: We did indeed make the Smitten Kitchen Roast Chicken with Schmaltzy Cabbage last weekend, and it was really good. I've been pleased about how many vegetables it turns out I can find palatable in some situations, but I think this was the most actual enjoyment I've had from one. (The cabbage didn't do as well as a leftover the next night as the chicken itself did, but was still fine.)

Current Mood: hungry

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brightknightie - Thank you for being here
schneefink - November recs: 3x Hermitcraft 1x Life series
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reynardo - Dear Devilbunnies:
petra - Recommendation: Retrograde & my new favorite minced oath
settiai - Leslie Fish
yhlee - much emotional support fiber
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petra - It's Dark Outside Cards - 2025
lannamichaels - Turning Twelve by Kathryn Ormsbee, illustrated by Molly Brooks (2024)
petra - I just gotta be me
petra - Tom Stoppard is like unto Rosencrantz and Guildenstern
sholio - How is it almost December
theemeraldgirl23 - scarygirlynight2025 fills
corvidology - He will be 100 years old on December 13th
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Yuletide unofficial chat

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Thank you for being here

November recs: 3x Hermitcraft 1x Life series

Sunday

Unseen

Dear Devilbunnies:

Recommendation: Retrograde & my new favorite minced oath

Leslie Fish

much emotional support fiber

(no subject)

We Are The Dead: Leslie Fish

(no subject)

It's Dark Outside Cards - 2025

Turning Twelve by Kathryn Ormsbee, illustrated by Molly Brooks (2024)

I just gotta be me

Tom Stoppard is like unto Rosencrantz and Guildenstern

How is it almost December

scarygirlynight2025 fills

He will be 100 years old on December 13th

holiday love meme 2025!

Weekly proof of life: media, an appliance, and chicken and cabbage

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November 2025

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